I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced anything more surreal than being out of the country for the 2016 presidential election. I was invited to demo recipes from The Gourmet Kitchen at the Sharjah International Book Fair, just outside of Dubai. The organizers flew me almost halfway across the world to the Middle East, where there was a 9 hour time difference. On November 8th, I was fast asleep before the polls closed, and on the 9th, I was waking up to the election results as my loved ones were trying to stay up a bit longer, watching the unexpected happen. I slept in that morning because just like almost everyone else, I believed the outcome was a no brainer. It never occurred to me when I left for the UAE that things might take a turn for the worse. While I don’t necessarily trust polls, I had faith that everything would work out for the best.
Samantha wasn’t as confident as me. She woke up at 6am to watch the results trickle in. I got out of bed at 8am and saw her face. “It isn’t good,” she said. The next few hours were brutal. At some point I needed coffee and food, and as I walked toward the breakfast buffet, I realized I was unable to look anyone in the eye. I was surrounded by people who Donald Trump and his upcoming administration would likely view as a national threat, and the guilt I felt was monumental. Regardless of their reasons for voting, half of my country was saying “we don’t care what this means for you.” I couldn’t go into the restaurant. I felt like people were staring at me, even though I realize now that was all in my head. Regardless, I froze. Then I sat on a couch in the lobby with coffee until I could move again.
Our hotel was gorgeous, right on the Sharjah beach front. There’s nowhere I find more zen-like than the beach, and if I had been alone that morning, I probably would have spent the rest of the day (hell, the rest of the trip) staring at the water. But we had flown 15 hours to get to the UAE. In Samantha’s words, “I’m not going to let him ruin this, too.” So we tried to make the best of it and explore our strange and futuristic surroundings. While the wind was knocked out of my sails, I was relieved to have the opportunity to escape for awhile. For brief periods of time I’d forget what was happening back home, and I could pretend everything was normal.
Then it would hit me like a punch to the gut. It felt like a loved one had died. The countless impacts. Obama’s legacy, civil rights, the Supreme Court. It wasn’t long before we started telling people we were Canadian. We took turns having panic attacks and breakdowns as we checked in with the news, and watched our friends anguishing on social media. Lethargy and resignation set in, as my attempts to enjoy my trip overseas became useless. Pretending to have fun while rapidly cycling through the stages of grief is exhausting after awhile.
On my taxi ride to the Dubai airport, my sweet Pakistani driver kept telling me everything would be ok and to try not to overthink. He asked me questions about whether I thought Hillary would have been a good president (the answer is yes), and what the weather is like in DC. I asked him if he’d ever visited the United States. He said he had always hoped to, but didn’t think he’d be welcome now. I tried to offer equally comforting words, and not to cry.
Poor me on my gorgeous vacation, right? I mostly stayed silent on social media as I tried to pull my thoughts together and find the words to express myself. Eventually I read a few articles and posts that helped me begin to put things into perspective.
- How Your Calls for “Unity” are Exposing Your Privilege
- What So Many People Don’t Get About the U.S. Working Class
- Impact > Intent
Bottom line? As a female and as a (non-practicing) Jewish person, I feel marginalized. But I don’t feel personally threatened at this moment, and I need to always be mindful about the immediate impact this is having on people I care deeply about. Two of my friends have already been harassed.
The best thing we can do right now is call local government representatives to voice our concerns, and to donate (money and/or time) to causes that need support more than ever. Here’s the list I’ve pulled together so far, in no particular order. Do what you can. Consider donating in place of traditional holiday gifts this year. Every little bit helps.
- The ACLU
- The Trevor Project
- The NAACP
- Planned Parenthood
- Emily’s List
- Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund
- Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights
- The Southern Poverty Law Center
- The Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles
- Committee to Protect Journalists
- First Amendment Coalition
- International Rescue Committee
- Campaign Zero
Remember that these organizations will need support for at least 4 years, not just in the immediate future. Did I miss any worthy causes that should be linked above? Please share them in the comments below.
Rachel says
I’d maybe add RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) to the list, but otherwise, I think it’s a good one.
Jennifer Farley says
That’s a great one to add, thank you.
Kirsten/ComfortablyDomestic says
I can’t even imagine how surreal it must have been to be in such a beautiful place–let alone in the Middle East–while everything went down with the election. I’m speechless.
Alyssa | EverydayMaven says
I feel your pain Jennifer. I am profoundly saddened by the direction our country is moving in and really appreciate your bravery speaking out and sharing information that can help people take action. xo
Lora @savoringitaly says
Thanks for sharing such important information. What gorgeous scenery (the buildings…those camels)and beautiful photos, Jen!
Ashley @ wishes and dishes says
My husband and I LOVE to travel so I enjoyed this post! We went to Dubai back in March and loved it!
Diane says
What about the rights of the unborn? I will donate time and money to Catholic Causes and Right to Life organizations. I don’t expect the same tolerance you seek so I will cancel my subscription to your blog.
Jennifer Farley says
Ok Diane, listen. I hear you, and I understand that you truly believe abortion kills babies. I respect where you are coming from. I hope you read my entire post, because there’s a lot more going on here than that issue alone. That being said, I feel like people rarely want to have a dialogue about this, they just want to yell “my side.” That’s what I’m getting from your comment, since you didn’t actually try to engage with me. What bothers me about the anti-abortion/pro-life argument is that I rarely hear concern about rights after birth. If you are donating your time and money to Catholic organizations, I truly hope you also care about the rights of all living citizens. Because so many people in America right now feel that their lives and their civil rights are in danger. Please try to have empathy for them as well. Love thy neighbor, right? You and I clearly have our differences. I don’t expect to change your mind, and you know you won’t change mine. But I think we can both agree on that. Love thy neighbor.
gale says
I am new to your blog (having just purchased your terrific book, but your response to Diane (my way or the highway) was right on. You expressed my feelings in a far nicer way than I would have.
Aviva Goldfarb says
Well, at least your photos are gorgeous! Really unbelievably sad and scary times right now and I know we’ll need our friends and communities (and vodka) more than ever to get ourselves through this. Hope your body is adjusting back to the US time, Jen, and looking forward to seeing you soon.
Jennifer Farley says
I don’t even know how I’m supposed to share holiday recipes or do normal things. Nothing is normal…
Sara @ Cake Over Steak says
Still processing over here, too. Wednesday was a surreal day … It must have been so weird for you to be out of the country. I never thought I would feel true grief because of an election, but that’s exactly what it was. Sending hugs!
Kimberly @ The Daring Gourmet says
I’ve traveled a lot but have never been to Dubai – your pics are gorgeous!
lauren+@+Climbing+Grier+Mountain says
What an informative post, Jennifer! Your trip looked amazing. My husband visited a few years ago and fell in love with the culture and people.
Bianca @ Confessions of a Chocoholic says
A strange new world, indeed. Thanks for the breath-taking photos. As scary as the presidential results may be, I hope we’re all reminded that there’s still hope and beauty all around us.
Naomi says
Dubai looks gorgeous. It’s a place I’ve always wanted to go to.
As for the election, definitely historical! It must have been something to watch it over seas
Matt says
This has always been on my list of places I need to visit, you are so lucky!
Katie | Healthy Seasonal Recipes says
How absolutely surreal. I literally LOLed about you telling people you were Canadian. Good grief. What a mess! Great post my friend.
Nutmeg Nanny says
I sat in my living room screaming at the TV in hopes it was all a joke. Never more in life did I wish Ashton Kutcher would come out and be all “you’ve been punked!” (Totally unrelated, does that statement make me sound old? It totally dates me.) Even though the election sucked I think your trip looked lovely. I went to Dubai a little over 10 years ago and it was so gorgeous. I didn’t quite love the midday heat BUT everything else was great :)