You guys, I’ve been having some issues with rage. Not road rage or anything quite so dangerous. No, I’m talking about a different form of rage. One that I believe is common among many in our society but hasn’t been addressed by the media. I think people are too ashamed to speak up about it right now and if we can raise public awareness, perhaps more citizens will be able to come forward. That’s why I’m willing to talk about my problem right here and now.
I’m speaking of grocery store rage.
I definitely spend more time in grocery stores than the average person. I’m lucky enough to live in a neighborhood where I can walk to most places. I don’t spend a lot of time in the car and that’s a good thing because gas prices are really high and I’d rather spend that money on ingredients. But I’ve noticed that many of the issues I used to deal with as a commuter can also be found at the grocery store.
You’ve got the slow cart drivers, lazily weaving between the right side of the aisle and the left side, making it very difficult to pass. You’ve got the people who have Very Important Places To Be and won’t hesitate to cut you off at the deli counter. You’ve got indecisive folk who hover at the egg section trying to decide what to buy while the rest of us who KNOW WHICH STUPID EGGS WE WANT have to wait patiently behind them. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t just stop in the middle of the road! It creates GRID LOCK. HONK.
I hope that by speaking up today I have opened up the possibility for dialogue about this important problem that is plaguing our society. Thank you.
Yields 1 quart
10 minCook Time
10 minTotal Time
- 6 egg yolks
- 2 cups half and half (or 1 cup whole milk + 1 cup heavy cream)
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1/4 cup malted milk powder
- 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
- In a small bowl, vigorously whisk the egg yolks together for several seconds until smooth.
- In a medium saucepan, heat up the half and half and vanilla extract until it just begins to simmer. Pour some of the hot liquid into the egg yolks while whisking to temper them. Then add the contents of the bowl back into the saucepan and turn the heat to low.
- Add the malted milk powder and sweetened condensed milk and whisk to combine the ingredients in the saucepan. Continue stirring over low heat for several minutes until the mixture begins to thicken slightly.
- Remove the heat, pour the liquid into a bowl and allow it to cool for several minutes. Then place plastic wrap directly against the top of the liquid and refrigerate until cold. The plastic wrap will prevent a skin from forming.
- Using an ice cream maker, prepare ice cream according to the manufacturer's instructions.
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